Mary had been thinking about their last conversation for several days.
She had asked Breed about an investment she was considering selling. But after their discussion, she realized something that bothered her.
She still hadn't decided what she really wanted to know.
When she arrived at Breed's office for their next meeting, she put her purse down and looked at him.
“I've been thinking about what we talked about last time.”
Breed smiled. “That's usually a good place to start.”
“I think I finally know what my question is.”
Breed waited.
Mary continued. “I want to know if I should sell the investment.”
Breed nodded. “That's a question. But what are you trying to decide?”
Mary looked at him for a moment.
“Isn't that the same thing?”
“Not necessarily.”
Mary leaned back in her chair.
She thought about the investment. A friend had recently told her that she should get out of it before something happened in the market. She had done some research herself, but the more she read, the less certain she felt.
“I suppose I'm trying to decide whether I'm making a mistake by keeping it.”
Breed nodded. “That's a better question.”
“Why?”
“Because now we can figure out what is making you uncomfortable.”
Mary was quiet.
Then she said, “Maybe I'm not really worried about the investment.”
Breed waited.
“Maybe I'm worried that I'll regret not selling it if the market goes down.”
Breed smiled slightly.
Mary smiled too.
“So I thought I was asking you whether I should sell.”
“You were.”
“But what I really wanted to know was can I live with the decision if things didn't go the way I hoped.”
Breed nodded.
“That is a very different question.”
Mary sat quietly for a moment.
“I think I'm beginning to understand something.”
“What?”
“Before I ask someone for an answer I need to know what decision I'm actually trying to make.”
Breed smiled.
“That's a useful thing to learn.”
“I guess I still have some work to do.”
“We all do.”
As she walked out of the office, Mary realized that she hadn't received an investment recommendation.
She had received something more useful.
She had learned how to look at the question before looking for the answer.
Reflection
Sometimes the hardest part of making a financial decision isn't finding the answer.
It's figuring out what you're really trying to decide.
And that begins with asking a better question.
Richard Sowa, Founder – Read The Money Mirror
FINANCIAL DECISIONS ARE NEVER JUST FINANCIAL.
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